SAASWATHA KRISHNA

Dear love, How are you, my darling? I hope you are happy and well. You ask if I'm well too Well, what can I say, The past few days have been crazy, euphoric, and more than just content, even though I was hardly sober this entire week. A rush of making good memories seems to be the agenda with my life right now. With the flow I go, loving each step I take. I walk hand in hand with laughter and joy, gripping it tightly in my palm as it dances in its own tunes. I'm not ready to let go of it just yet. This moment feels so beautiful and imperfect. A bit of tears and a lot of hugs and grins is all the medicine this lonely soul needs.Small doses is enough to mend my soul that’s been scratched all over and stamped upon. I'm not sure if this will last more than this minute. I'm not sure if I would ever be as happy as I am now. But one thing's sure this minute, This Millisecond I am happy. Right now, it's 3am and I'm sleepless and hungover, as I watch the dark sleepin...

Love alone is not enough to keep us alive. There was some likelihood that you and I would eventually learn how to let our love grow for one another, though. Till then, feel free to leave at any time. I'll go to any lengths to show myself the love I deserve. I'm going to stop waiting on you and instead envelop myself in the love I thought I had with you. I see my existence as extremely real, even though you may be a complete ghost. I've given up trying to put us back together. I am complete without you, and even after you discarded me like I was last week's trash, I will always be a gorgeous, amazing mess.  Written on : April 22, 2021

  I had a daughter once, her name was Hope. Oh, you should've seen how my heart leaped in joy when I held her in my arms. Every fiber in me was dedicated to making her safe and showering her with all the love I could give. I cradled her in my arms. Oh, you should've seen how her tiny fingers were my reason to live. She was my love. My own. I spent nights stroking her hair and showing her off to the moon as its competitor. I held her close to me always. Blocking and pushing away the things that might prick her baby skin. Oh, I wish I could buy love in the supermarket, buy it for her and gift wrap it with care and dreams and give every stock they have, to my precious. And I would happily spend years paying it off with nothing but her happiness in return. Oh, i dreamt I held my baby Hope, in my hands singing to her on rainy nights till my coffee got cold and I dozed off, my baby Hope sound asleep in my arms. But one day I had a horrific dream, I dreamt that my hope was gone. I sea...

  On a sunny yet windy June day, I give out posters to random passersby on the street. With a worried tone, I ask them if they've seen the man on the poster. He's been missing. I ask them if they can identify the man, for he's been long gone. I ask them if they've seen a man who is slightly taller than me, a slight tilt of my head is all that's needed to see his twinkling eyes. A man with a smile that is ever so rare yet like an innocent stretch of glee similar to that of a child's. A few of those on his face is enough to ease the world's troubles. I ask them if they've seen a man who walks around with a lost gaze yet can put me in my place. A man who has this endless need to use complex vocabulary yet bad grammar. If you find this man, Tell him I'm okay. I've missed him but I'm okay. Tell him I've missed how he sounds through messages and unexpected calls. I've missed his warm hands on my cold cheek and the certainty I had. Tell him ...

  Your words were a permanent impression in my mind. Even though my fingers smudge the ends of every word written with fresh ink all over me, in attempts to touch it - a fool's attempt to think that those words were as tangible as you. But yet the smudged letters were readable. Soon enough the words felt more tangible in fact it was the only tangible thing as the writer ceased to exist, leaving only shattered dust and scrap in my memory. But the words remain. Smudged and faded yet the words remain. And now I am in search of a new writer whose application would fill this empty seat and remain there to write the same poem on my mind over and over again. Written : Dec 20, 2016

Here you go, Universe. I give me to you. The most honest, vulnerable, raw version of me. I know you won't treat me any different than billions of people in this same existence with emotions and lives as complex as mine, so I won't ask you to treat me well. I won't ask you to show special sympathy on me. I won't ask you to shower me with blessings or ask you to do everything in my favour. I ask you this. Teach me to be strong, to be tenacious. Teach me again and again the value of kindness beyond everything. Show me the worst but also keep showing me the best in humanity to restore my faith after the worst. Give me the insight to recognize that guidance comes from the toughest times.

~An ode to my body~  Irrespective of all the seasons that have passed by, my body still remains supple and full of life.  It tells me brave tales of persistence and pushing through.  My body extends itself beyond it's functionalities and purposes to teach me lessons of rebirth, kindness and the power of softness.  . . . Our bodies is our home. Give it love, give it nutrition and it gives back health and sustainability.  If you're struggling to love yourself or the body that you were born in. Take it as slow as you can. List down 5 parts of your body that you admire the most. Not just for its attractiveness but how well it functions for you.  Thank your arms for getting things beyond your reach. Thank your shoulders for carrying the weight of your intelligent brain. Thank your legs for taking you places and letting you explore. Thank your skin for its adaptability, how well it protects you and keeps your vital organs safe. Thank your heart for gi...