SAASWATHA KRISHNA

 When my weight sinks into the ground and holds it with intensity, I will not reminisce over the times my body heartily challenged gravity but I will celebrate my spirit that pulls me back to my feet.  With awareness of the new found boundaries my body faces, I will not lower my head in shame or misery but bask in the glory of my skin and the beauty of my resilience despite my circumstance.

The stillness of the night sky, the faint twinkle of the stars. The reassuring deep breaths and soft chirps of birds from a distance.They all tell me to listen and to take a moment and engulf in the present. The present gives us indefinite hope for the future. The predictability of nature, reminds me that I can rest my head and close my eyes and when I wake up, the sun will be back, the birds will be chirping and my breath carries on. 

Here you go, Universe. I give me to you. The most honest, vulnerable, raw version of me. I know you won't treat me any different than billions of people in this same existence with emotions and lives as complex as mine, so I won't ask you to treat me well. I won't ask you to show special sympathy on me. I won't ask you to shower me with blessings or ask you to do everything in my favour. I ask you this. Teach me to be strong, to be tenacious. Teach me again and again the value of kindness beyond everything. Show me the worst but also keep showing me the best in humanity to restore my faith after the worst. Give me the insight to recognize that guidance comes from the toughest times.

~An ode to my body~  Irrespective of all the seasons that have passed by, my body still remains supple and full of life.  It tells me brave tales of persistence and pushing through.  My body extends itself beyond it's functionalities and purposes to teach me lessons of rebirth, kindness and the power of softness.  . . . Our bodies is our home. Give it love, give it nutrition and it gives back health and sustainability.  If you're struggling to love yourself or the body that you were born in. Take it as slow as you can. List down 5 parts of your body that you admire the most. Not just for its attractiveness but how well it functions for you.  Thank your arms for getting things beyond your reach. Thank your shoulders for carrying the weight of your intelligent brain. Thank your legs for taking you places and letting you explore. Thank your skin for its adaptability, how well it protects you and keeps your vital organs safe. Thank your heart for gi...

Harry Potter has been an integral part of who I am. Irrespective of all the emotions I carry in regards to the fictional series. I adherently believe that Radical feminism without Trans inclusivity is problematic and intolerant. I am not ready to give up the feelings I had reading that book as a kid because in my naiveté and midst of unbearable childhood truma, that book gave me tremendous hope and will to live. I will take my time to understand and comprehend this change and realise that what once helped me grow diminishes the value of my other fellow human beings. Irrespective of how I feel, one of my core beliefs were shaken by the comments of "J.K. Rowling". With my growth, I understand that she doesn't believe the same hope that I once recieved from her books extends to so many trans kids out there that are struggling to fit in this transmisogynistic culture. I recognise my privilege and believe that inclusivity and protection of Trans and gender non confirming fo...

When I first went on stage I blanked out and felt my knees shaking.  I was pretty sure I would make a fool out of myself and I definitely did. Everything was just so bad at that moment. My knees wobbly, my voice shaky, palms were profusely sweating and I could hear how weird my voice sounded. I just wanted to run off that stage. Even though only about 20 people were in that auditorium, I felt like I was being judged and under the microscope by infinite number of eyes. It was beyond horrendous.  When everything was going bad, I also noticed a faint feeling of belonging (which at that time I mistook it as nausea).  The more I pushed myself to be in the spot light the more I loved the feeling of everyone listening to what I had to say. I realised when I held the microphone, I had the power. The power to say what I want, to show people who I truly am. This estatic feeling overpowered the fear of being ridiculed or mocked.  I've worked 6 years on m...

You do not know how your race is perceived in this day and age until a white privileged man on the internet tells you that as a person from my country, I speak "near-perfect" English after years of reading classics like Shakespeare, Jane Austen, William Wordsworth, P.G.Woodehouse, Fitzgerald and so many others. The casual assumption that we do not speak their language as well as them or even better when my forefathers struggle to inculcate and tech themselves this colonial tongue more than our mother tongue is not only insulting to my race but diminishing the efforts we as a race took to be considered as equal members of this global society.